


Esme's Fantastical Festive Feast

by JoJoWrites



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Southern Vampire Mysteries - Charlaine Harris, True Blood, Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas, Funny, Humor, Other, cross-over, festive, multi fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-04
Updated: 2012-06-04
Packaged: 2017-11-06 20:25:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/422840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoJoWrites/pseuds/JoJoWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmastime in the Cullen household, but this year they have some extra guests coming over. With so many supernaturals and humans under one roof it can only ever be described as... interesting. Twilight meets Harry Potter and True Blood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Esme's Fantastical Festive Feast

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot is our present to all members and supporters of Giggle/Snort Files. Just a little fun story to tickle your tinsel.
> 
> A HUGE thanks to GasawayAlley, Viola Cornuta, One_Brave_Lamb and Islandwoman221 for going along with my last minute, hair-brained ideas and making this possible. The site wouldn't be anything without you ladies.

The kids buzzed around my head as my husband messed with the tree lights- and risked blowing every breaker in the house in the process and jolting himself off the ladder. Christmas was supposed to be the time for fun, relaxation, and festivities with the family, but this year seemed to be turning out to be a huge headache.

"Esme, Alice is cheating again," Edward moaned as he came into the kitchen. "We're trying to play 'Charades' and she's..." I didn't let him finish with a waving hand shooing at him.

"Alice! Quit skipping around the hereafter!" I shouted into the family room where they were all gathered. You'd have thought she'd be able to foresee being told off for cheating...

"Then tell Edward to stop reading my mind!" she shouted back. Considering they were age-old vampires, my pseudo-children could really be, well, children at times.

And so it began.

I didn't need this right now. I was in the middle of basting a gargantuan turkey with a horse inseminating tool. It had been so long since I'd eaten anything except wildlife I'd forgotten what it was supposed to taste like. I knew what the plated poultry was supposed to look like- pictures were posted and pasted all over every conceivable social media known to man. With its legs splayed open wantonly and giblets on display, I wondered how I could have ever deemed turkey appetizing. I must have seriously been out of my mind as a human; one thing was for sure - if I had my time again with a heartbeat, I would be vegetarian.

The sizzle and crackle of the skin sounded in the kitchen, and the steam covered the windows as I stood staring at the fowl offerings with baster in hand. Drops of stock and fat hit the high-gloss flooring as my hearing took in every pit and pat.

This party was Carlisle's brilliant idea to invite others for Christmas Day, yet I was the one who had the task of preparing everything. The good doctor's sole contribution had been issuing the e-vites and attaching the lengthy guest list to the fridge with red-nosed Rudolph magnets. I was just thankful Emmett and Jasper had decorated the interior and exterior of the house. They had really done a splendid job, and the entire place resembled Santa's Grotto. Neither Nordstrom's nor Macy's had a patch on us this year.

It was quite amusing when the setting sun shone through the large windows in the living room; we didn't know if the orbs of light bouncing around the walls were from our skin or the shiny baubles and tinsel adorning the tree and walls. At least we'd fit in.

"Tonight is going to be fantastic," Carlisle said, interrupting my thoughts. He stood in the doorway looking very pleased with himself. My eyes darted over to where he was standing and were immediately drawn to the hideous Christmas sweater he was wearing. I had bought it for him in 1985 as a joke, but he insisted on wearing it each and every year.

Alice must have been close to convulsions as the monstrosity was displayed in all its glory. The sweater was red and had white reindeer knitted into it in a horizontal pattern with a bright green Christmas tree splayed across the front.

Carlisle turned around with his arms spread out so I could appreciate the design on the back. In big white lettering was 'Ho Ho Ho'. The 'O's' were adorned with little vampire teeth.

Be still my Heathcliffe Huxtable loving heart! Carlisle never ceased to amaze me with his humor, even if it was dry and repetitive. Others didn't always get his own personal brand of giggles, but I did, and I adored him all the more for it. Laughter erupted from all corners of the house in time with Alice's chomping jaw grinding her teeth to powder.

The scene was almost set and ready for our guests from around the globe. A loud popping noise registered in my ears, and a knock at the door sounded as the thoughts flitted through my head. Heartbeats. Lots of heartbeats.

* * *

Then I heard the chatter of a tree rodent and the crunch of someone's shoes running in the driveway. "Stupefy" was shouted followed by a loud pop, and rubber soles skittered to a halt by the door.

Everyone in the house exchanged glances. We all froze. The smell wafting through the doorjamb hit us like the New Year's Ball free-falling at Times Square. The scent burned of electrical magic. Dusty and festive, not at all human. Supernatural. And not in the least bit mouth-watering.

There was a shuffle as hushed voices whispered from outside the landing.

"Harry, leave it. I've made sure we don't smell appetizing."

"Oi, haven't I told you my list of fears is spiders, squirrels, and then vampires? In that order?"

"Ron, quit being such a git. They can probably hear us," hissed a female.

A rude snicker rang out, and the sound of a hand making contact with skin also leaked in from behind the closed entryway.

When no one made a move toward the door, Carlisle sighed and under his breath grumbled, "No, no, that's okay, I'll get it."

The giant oak door opened, and a gust of static energy- the kind you got when you neglected to throw a fabric sheet in the dryer- sent all the tinsel and ribbons flowing from every crevice in the room to swirling.

The unimaginable happened next. A squirrel came flying into the room, scrabbling for purchase on the wood floor and hit the wall. The scrap of fur lay there stunned for a moment, and a cough sounded from behind me. It was Emmett. He was trying not to laugh but then lost it. His baritone rattled through the house before he hooted, "Dude, they brought us a snack!" Loud guffaws filtered through the living room before Alice grabbed the offending creature by its tail and let it out the back door.

I saw the most lovely girl, whom I assumed was Hermione, swipe her hand at the red-headed pasty looking fellow.

"Ron, put your wand away. You remember the last time you pointed that thing at a person? You vomited slugs for days."

Ron hung his head a bit. "You can never be too careful. And did you see that? It came right after me, it did."

A snort escaped the perma-sneer lips of a particularly nasty looking boy with no more color in him than the spackling compound I used to repair Emmett and Rosalie's bedroom walls every week. Aha, now I knew where the previous snicker came from. He emanated a disgusting smell of rot and reptiles. I barely concealed the crinkle in my nose. I didn't like him right from the get go.

The dark-headed one with crazy hair like my Edward's stood with a guarded stance. He had a careful smile on his face.

"Welcome, welcome to our home." Carlisle finally jostled himself to greet the first of our guests. He excitedly held out his hand, shaking each teenager's hand in turn, covering the back of their palms in an age-old doctor politician's gesture of good bedside manners and welcomes. Or as Emmett liked to call it, "Carlisle's Bush shake". Whatever that meant.

There was a tall boy in the back of the crowd who came in last. We all stood stock still assessing him. I heard a squeak come from Rosalie and a small gasp from Bella accompanied an increasing heart rate.

"Jesus Christ! There are two of them?" Rosalie said out loud.

"Rosalie, be polite to our guests." Carlisle pointed out. "Let me introduce you all."

The introductions were made, and the curious boy in the back turned out to be Cedric Diggory, who eerily resembled Edward. We came to find out later, since we owned stock in , Cedric and Edward were cousins a couple of times removed on his father's side.

Alice had a vision when she got closer to Cedric and promptly announced his impending doom by someone who could not be named. I thought she just couldn't tell who the person was. This caused quite a stir between the Hogawartians or whatever they call each other.

A loud knock came from the door again, and Carlisle ran to answer it while the girls and I passed out refreshments to try and lighten the mood.

* * *

This time, I stopped dead in my tracks and really took notice of the four strangers at the door. There were two fine specimens, er, different species of vampires, a blond girl of indeterminable lineage, and a dark man who smelled of Louisiana swamp grass and sea glass. The woman smelled of sunshine and... glitter? I shook my head at the thought; glitter and glass-they didn't truly have a smell, but it was the only thing I could grasp onto.

Now onto the southern gentleman, and the gorgeous Viking... I shook my head again. Where were my manners?

"Esme, this is Eric Northman, Bill Compton, Sookie Stackhouse, and Lafayette Reynolds. Sookie, Bill, Eric, Lafayette, this is my wife, Esme." Carlisle did his Bush Shake again.

I reached out with my own and was flattered when Bill took my hand and kissed the top of it, lingering for just a moment. Sookie took my hand next and shook it just like Carlisle did theirs. The absurd name of "Bushy Stackhouse" crossed my mind.

"I'm pleased to meet you, Esme," Bushy, I mean Sookie, said while still holding my hand. "Your hands are very cold."

Bill drew in a tight breath. "Now Sookie, I'm sure their kind have a different feel than we do."

Carlisle perked up like Dr. Frankenstein at a plane wreck. Body parts! Oh God, he was going to try to get them to let him study them. How he loved to play Bill Nye the Science Guy.

"Well, I for one am looking forward to spending the day in such lovely company," Eric said and came up to take my hand. He did as Bill did but allowed his tongue to briefly touch the skin.

I heard Emmett and Jasper growl, and I shushed them with a glare. It's not every day you get to meet other, erm, boys-who-played-with-their toys differently than we did. The Viking positively, succulently reeked of type A- blood, while the southerner smelled more like us.

Lafayette came further in the house with a flourish, looked me up and down with approval and kissed me on each cheek before heading straight for the colorless one named Draco. He mentioned something about white chocolate and marshmallows being his favorite sweeteners. I didn't understand the reference but made a mental note to see if we had anything with those ingredients for dessert.

Everyone was positioned in the living room as still as the dead, staring at each other. Rosalie was standing with her arms crossed and casting appraising glances at Sookie and Hermione. I just prayed she wasn't planning who to take out first. Bill and Eric both moved closer to Sookie as if they sensed her intruding thoughts. With a protective hand on each of her hips I hoped their pissing contest wouldn't turn into anything more; Carlisle hadn't had chance to fully analyze their strengths, weaknesses, and skills in order to assess whether they'd be a match for our combined effort.

"Should we go into the dining room?" I asked, directing all of the bodies into the adjoining room and trying to diffuse the situation.

The table was decorated in red and gold with personalized place cards, evergreen trimming down the center, and little festive crackers for each guest. It was Rosalie and Emmett's responsibility to fill each cracker to suit the guest it was for. If they'd put in anything less than complimentary I would have their guts for garters.

I'd ordered some of that new fan-dangled artificial blood from Japan for Bill and Eric. I had gone with O Positive in the hope that a generic taste could possibly suit both. The red bottles of 'True Blood' were placed in front of their name plates.

"Oh, I didn't get you anything," Eric said as he looked at the gift. He turned around, and my eyes moved from his black clad bottom to something far less appropriate.

"Oh, that's not a problem. Your company is more than I, I mean we, need." I replied, licking my lips and feeling a presence behind me, pushing slightly against my back.

"As my _wife_ said," Carlisle responded behind me, closing the gap between us and definitely claiming his stake.

"One moment," Eric replied, interrupting Carlisle, before disappearing out of the back door at preternatural speed.

I knew Carlisle wasn't impressed with my fawning over our Viking guest, but I just couldn't help it. There was something about tall, blond men with good manners that unearthed the horny teenager in me. Maybe that explained how our relationship had lasted so long and only grown stronger over the years.

As we were seated at the table I watched Jasper who appeared to be struggling less than usual. As the newest member of the family I was often concerned about his control slipping; he was a gentle and caring soul, but it was very difficult for him at times. When Bella joined our family as Edward's girlfriend her presence was especially hard on him, and if it wasn't for the support of Alice, I was sure the slip up on Bella's birthday wouldn't have been the only issue. Jasper loved Bella as a sister, but her blood hummed a little ditty to him as it did with all of us.

"Are you okay?" Alice asked sitting next to him and grasping his hand firmly. Concern was etched on her face as she waited for a response.

"Yes, sweetheart," he replied giving a reassuring smile and kissing her gently on the lips. My heart swelled as I watched them. Their relationship reminded me so much of Carlisle's and mine.

"Their scent is somewhat off putting," Jasper explained, nodding his head towards the four teenagers. "Especially that blond one."

I understood exactly where he was coming from.

"Don't worry, you won't hurt anyone," Alice confirmed with her eyes closed in concentration. She had obviously had a vision, and as much as they were subject to change I trusted her on this one.

"I hear you're from England, am I right?" Bill asked Harry, trying to be friendly and sipping the red liquid from his bottle.

"Yes."

"How did you get here? On a broomstick?" Rosalie butted in rudely, staring at Hermione.

"No, British Airways," Hermione replied not missing a beat. Her response was accompanied with a sweet smile that stopped Rosalie dead in her tracks. I had a feeling my daughter may have met her match in the young wizard. Or was it wizardess? I had to 'Google' it as soon as I got the chance.

"Not too cold here?" Carlisle asked.

"No, it's actually basically the same climate at home. Just rather more beautiful though," Harry replied as the blond one snorted and scoffed at the 'beautiful' remark.

"I actually think it's quite average here," he commented with a sneer. I was beginning to dislike like that child more and more as time moved on.

"It's rather breathtaking," Bill commented as he cast a glance at Draco. "Just like tonight's company."

He was one smooth fellow, and I couldn't help but notice how the male counterparts of my family all sidled closer to their partners. As Bill cast a lingering stare towards Alice (who certainly had a thing for southern gentlemen) there was a commotion in the kitchen.

A loud thump reverberated through the room as a sweet, enticing smell wafted through the doorway. The turkey was most definitely ready, but the mouth-watering scent was from an entirely different source. Carlisle got up to see what the noise was as I followed closely behind.

"I hope this is the correct breed," Eric said. He was standing next to the kitchen table gesturing to the gift be had bestowed upon us. A large mule deer was splayed across the surface with its glistening eyes staring at us.

"That's, erm, very kind," Carlisle said as he eyed up the carcass lying on the granite. Its antlers were covered in moss from being carried back to the house, and from the smell of the foliage I guessed it was caught around the Hoh.

Which reminded me to give our guests the joke bumper stickers I'd picked up at Newton's Outfitters that morning before they left. They read 'I got wet down on the Hoh'.

Eric patted the beast on the side like a proud hunter. "I wasn't sure if you needed a heartbeat or not, so it's just stunned," he began.

Blood dripped out of the animal's nose signalling the end of life. As its heart stuttered and stopped with a loud thud, Eric looked deflated and hung his head slightly. His blonde hair fell forward over his eyes, and I just wanted to brush it back, telling him he was a good boy, and it was the thought that counted.

I heard a shuffling in the doorway and turned around to see Ron staring at the deer. He was wearing a party hat and had a whistle in his mouth.

"Bloody hell, that's not dinner, is it?" he asked. The whistle fell to the floor.

"No dear," I said, trying not to giggle at my own humor. "Why don't you go back to the table, and I'll be out with the turkey shortly. Eric, take a seat and have a drink. We'll sort this out." I ushered both of them out of the room as Carlisle set about removing the corpse.

* * *

The turkey was done to perfection- according to Fatass Contessa, or whatever her name was- as I proudly laid it in the middle of the table with all the vegetables and sides surrounding it. I had really done myself and my family proud this year.

The feast looked glorious, and I felt a pang of jealousy. As I stared at the roast, fleeting human memories came back of Christmas past. The smell of the log fire, the roast goose and potatoes and playing in the snow with my family as a child. The wizard children along with Bella, Sookie and Lafayette could still indulge in the festivities to the full extent; something I could only ever daydream and reminisce about.

"Darling, this looks absolutely... scrumptious," Carlisle said as he took his spot as head of the table and set about carving the turkey with surgical precision. Even if he wasn't eating any of it, it was still the fatherly duty as head of household, and he took it seriously. Edward and Emmett had sour looks on their faces as the legs were pulled off but hid their distaste behind their napkins. Everyone else, who could eat, positively wolfed the food down.

Ron seemed to be especially enjoying the food. No sooner had one roast potato been put in his mouth and chewed, another joined it followed by some stuffing.

"Ron, you're supposed to eat it, not inhale it," Hermione chastised as she politely chewed on a carrot.

"Have you tried this?" He asked through a mouthful of food. "If you'd lived with my mum's cooking you'd know what I mean!"

Ron looked around at my family and the other vampires sitting with empty plates and stopped chewing momentarily. "How come you're not eating?" he asked.

Edward chuckled. "We don't eat."

"Never?" Ron asked looking surprised. Actually, he appeared completely gobsmacked!

"No, never. Not in the traditional sense anyway. We hunted before you arrived this evening." Ron looked a little green at the word 'hunted', soon forgetting whatever issue he had with it and carrying on eating. I had a feeling this one knew his way around a plate, and the way Hermione kept looking at him, she might find out just how well he _knew_ his way around a dish.

Carlisle was sitting quietly and looking at Bill and Eric who were embroiled in their own conversation, seated either side of Sookie. "So, Bill, what are your restrictions as a southern vampire?" he asked.

"What do you mean, Carlisle?" Bill asked.

"Sorry, I mean, are you able to go out in sunlight?"

"No, sir. Sunlight causes burning and a painful death." Bill replied. Carlisle just nodded in understanding and didn't say anything. "How about your kind?"

"Oh, we're lucky I suppose. We're able to function in society during the day but must keep out of direct sunlight."

"How so?" Bill asked, his interest seemed piqued by information. "What happens if you go into direct sunlight? Do you burn also?"

"No, our skin has facets that sparkle when hit with direct light. We'd draw attention to ourselves, which would be too risky. We're not 'out' so to speak, as you are."

Eric leaned forward and looked around Sookie. "Let me get this right. If we go out in the sun we burn to a crisp, but if you go out in the sun the biggest risk is looking like a Studio 54 disco ball?"

"Eric, I warned you. Play nice," Sookie whispered to the vampire and elbowed him in the ribs.

She definitely had some kind of power that demanded a degree of respect from a being of over one thousand years old. She may have appeared human, but there was something underneath I was unsure of. Eric and Bushy definitely had a connection, and it was stronger than the one with Bill.

"But they don't even have fangs," he whispered back, trying not to move his lips as much as possible.

"No, but we have excellent hearing," Emmett said loudly from the other end of the table.

"Yes we do, Emmett. That's why there's no need to shout." I needed to nip this in the bud, or butt depending which vampire we were talking about, before my middle son organized an arm-wrestling contest or some other nonsense. Not that I wouldn't mind seeing Eric flex his glutes...

I could feel the dinner going awry and desperately wanted it to be successful. I looked towards Edward who was sitting next to Bella. He had a stoic expression on his face as she talked animatedly to Cedric sitting opposite. Her pupils were dilated, but I couldn't understand why; there were no poppy seeds in any of the recipes, and as far as I knew she hadn't acquired a recent heroin addiction.

Then it hit me. She was attracted to Cedric. It appeared dear Bella had a message for the boys after all; I just wondered if Edward realized what he had in store for himself in the future when he finally gave it up.

"You have such gorgeous hair, Cedric," she purred, brushing her own hair away from her face and running her hand down her neck.

"Thanks, Bella." Cedric was completely oblivious to the deathly glare he was receiving from my oldest child. I prayed Edward would keep his toys in the stroller and not try to insert them somewhere unfortunate in our guest.

"What product do you use?" she asked as Edward reached under the table to hold her hand.

"Pantene. It helps to keep it silky smooth and reduce frizz. Although, I've just discovered that 'Wen' on the crazy infomercials you have over here. I ordered myself a 'LazySuit' this morning too."

"You never mention my hair. Everyone likes my hair," Edward sulked under his breath. His comment was low enough so that no human could hear it, but the entire family did. "And 'Snuggies' are far superior."

"Edward, you do have lovely hair," Alice replied out loud.

Bella noticed her boyfriend's pout and turned to look at him. She ran her hands through his hair and kissed him on the cheek. "You really do. It was the first thing I noticed at school," she said and then turned her attention back to Edward, I mean Cedric.

The doorbell rang, and I looked to Carlisle. All of our guests were present, so I couldn't think of who it could be. Emmett darted to answer it. He was desperate to escape the smell of roasted flesh and Brussels sprouts - or as Ron so eloquently put it, little balls of fart.

"It's for you, Cedric," he said coming back into the dining room alone. Cedric wiped his mouth before putting his napkin on the table and cast a glance at Bella. He disappeared down the hallway, and as I listened closely, I could only detect one heartbeat. I was perplexed at who, or indeed, what, could be calling for him at our house.

"Who was it?" Carlisle asked Emmett.

"No idea. Some dude in a robe with no nose and bad teeth," he replied. "Alice would've had an _Extreme Makeover_ moment with that guy."

My initial thought was Michael Jackson, but he was being held securely by the Volturi until his appetite could be controlled. From all accounts he was quite the vicious newborn.

"Can I have his turkey?" Lafayette asked. His dark, burly arm reached across the table before anyone had answered. Noticing the disapproving stares from the Hogwarts contingency, he said "What? It ain't like he'll need it where he's going." He made sure to brush up against Draco and offer in a blatantly sexual tone, "I'll share my wishbone with you." When Draco shook his head in the negative, Lafayette asked, "How about some thigh? Dark meat is always extra juicy."

"You are disgusting!" Draco raised his voice in an authoritative tone that, quite frankly, just came across as brattish.

"Don't be like that, my little choupique," Lafayette replied, thoroughly loving the effect he was having on Spackle-boy.

"Wait until my father hears about this!"

"Oh shut it, Blondie. Quit being such a whiny little bitch," Rosalie snapped, throwing a Brussels sprout at his head. The cruciferous ball bounced off his perfectly manicured, hard-shell coif and rolled under the table. The room fell silent as everyone waited with bated breath for what was going to happen next.

Dinner and a show.

As much as I didn't like Rosalie's 'Lead, follow, or get the hell out of my way' attitude most of the time, I was enjoying it tonight. That boy needed putting in his place.

"I don't need to stay here and be insulted," Draco fumed as he stood up and waited for a response- or for the other kids to follow him.

Emmett raised his hand in what appeared to be a submissive gesture and one of peace. As it seemed Draco was going to get the upper hand, Emmett rotated his fist and gave a wholly un-welcoming gesture with a single digit. "Don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out," he said with a mega-watt grin on his face.

With a huff, the rotten child flounced through the doorway and sat in the family room. His father was not picking him up until morning, and he knew he'd have to suck it up for the next few hours- something about a used-up port key.

"I'm really sorry about that, Mrs Cullen," Harry said as Hermione and Ron nodded in agreement. I didn't feel it was necessary for them to apologize for the actions of someone else. They had been nothing but gracious this evening and a pleasure to be around.

"There's no need to apologize. Did that boy's father ever put him over his knee?"

"Not that I know of," Hermione replied.

"Shame." I sighed.

Lafayette brightened and looked like he was willing to volunteer, but a firm look from Sookie squashed his idea.

"Do you think we should check on Cedric?" Carlisle asked as he started to clear the table of empty plates and uneaten food.

"Erm, no, I don't think you should get involved," Harry said hastily with a resigned look on his face. His eyes darted towards Hermione and Ron. Just the mention of it had stopped the Ron eating-machine, so I knew it must have been bad.

I didn't necessarily agree with leaving the young man outside (or wherever he was), but I trusted the young wizards' judgment; they played with things far beyond our skill and comprehension on a daily basis, and it wasn't my place to butt in.

* * *

After the table had been cleared by my boys, we ushered everyone into the den. We'd bought new sofas to accommodate all of our guests and a big fire had been lit. A warm orange glow filled the room as the lights on the tree twinkled to their own melody.

"Please sit wherever you want and make yourselves at home," I said as everyone filtered through the doorway.

"I need to lie down," Ron moaned as he rubbed his over-filled stomach. "I'm stuffed." Apparently not completely full as he grabbed a handful of nuts from the bowl on the coffee table.

As I listened to Ron chew his way through the contents of the bowl I looked around.

Edward and Bella sat in the far corner chatting quietly. She was on his lap and playing with his hair. As her fingers ran through the strands she was reassuring him about it being 'lovely' and only being interested in _his_ golden snitch. I had a feeling where that conversation was going so I moved on.

Emmett and Rosalie were playing chess with Harry and Hermione. On initial sight it looked as though Rose and Hermione had patched up their differences. That idea was shattered when I noticed the looks on their faces; they stared each other down and grimaced as the other made a move. A battle of strength was out of the question so this appeared to be the next best thing. Poor Harry and Emmett stood no chance in the contest so they were simply side-lined and left to watch.

Lafayette was sitting with his feet up on the sofa drinking straight from a bottle of Jim Beam bourbon. His gold shoes glinted in the dim light as he stared at Draco and Bill sitting together on the other side of the room. Neither looked very happy as they whispered to each other.

"I can't believe he's with a muggle," Draco said, motioning towards Bella and Edward. "A muggle!"

"I can't believe she chose the Viking," Bill lamented in response.

Draco realized who he was talking to and stiffened up like the very thought of speaking to a vampire was the most abhorrent thing imaginable. He leaned away and covered his neck with his hand trying to seem nonchalant.

"You're not my type, young man, and your manners are sorely lacking." Bill, ever the gentleman, put Draco in his place.

I looked towards Sookie and Eric, and I couldn't fight the smile from appearing on my lips. They were snuggled together under a blanket and murmuring sweet nothings. They looked so content and seemed to complement each other perfectly. His demeanour changed when he was with the young lady; all of his hostilities and arrogance disappeared, and he showed his true nature – one that reminded me of Carlisle.

As I thought about Eric, Carlisle kissed the side of my neck. "Have a look outside, darling," he said.

I glanced out of the window to see the most beautiful sight - fresh snowflakes fell heavily, covering everything in a clean, virginal blanket of white. All imperfections were covered with the prospect of a new start. A clean slate.

It was definitely a sign of how things were and how they should be. Surrounded by friends and family and ensconced in the arms of the love of my life. This was what Christmas was all about, and I felt complete once again.

Whoever said Christmas wishes didn't work was wrong. I had everything I could have ever wished for, and more.

* * *

That was until a snowball came flying through the plate glass window. Everyone flew to peer out the softball-sized hole to see Alice and Jasper outside trying to re-live the Civil War.

Six of the humans squealed and ran out the front door before we vampires could even blink- surprising us with their speed. The seventh trailed sullenly behind.

Eric lowered his head menacingly at Emmett, who nodded and jerked his head toward the front door. The only indication Carlisle and I were left alone was the sudden breeze swishing my skirt against my shins.

We both looked outside again to see our children playing less than nicely with the other supernats. Jasper, Alice, and Bill had teamed up against Emmett, Rosalie, and Eric. The female humans, along with Lafayette and Hermione, all got smart and were out of the fight happily making snow fairies, wizards, and men. Ahem- well-hung men. The boys kept up at it, the three wizards had their wands up producing different colored snowballs and hurling them as fast as the vampires could.

Carlisle dragged me out into the midst of it all as Emmett managed to grapple Ron's wand out of his hands. He pointed it towards us and the kids shouted and ducked for cover.

"How the hell do you use this?" he asked, turning it around and peering at the tip. "Avada kedavra?" Emmett tapped it on his head and shrugged when nothing happened. I thought we'd gotten away with another minor miracle and wouldn't be left with a half vamp, half llama hybrid after all. A llamapire.

I was wrong on the minor miracle part.

Disappointed with the piece of carved wood in his hand, Emmett moved to hand it back to Ron. "This thing is brok..." Emmett started just as there was a loud crack of thunder, and he was thrown through the tree behind him, leaving a cloud of splintery saw dust in his wake. That electrical smell followed after him, and now I knew what that smell was. Magic.

I've always tried to defend him when people called him names and poked fun at him, but it was instances like this when I realized he really could be stump stupid if the opportunity arose.

"Oh Emmett, another tree? Haven't I asked you to limit your destruction to where I don't have to look at it?"

"Sorry, Esme!"

Jasper mumbled something under his breath about a rash of dumbass going around as Carlisle and I walked back to the house to prepare much needed warm towels and hot beverages for the humans.

A note was pinned to the front door. As we reached the door, Carlisle unpinned it and read it.

"Brb - V" was all it said.

"What does 'Berbvee' mean?" Carlisle asked. My dear husband really hadn't got to grips with the twenty-first century and net-speak.

"It means 'be right back' and is from someone with the initial 'V'," I explained as I took the piece of paper from him. There was no other writing on it.

"Maybe it's Cedric's friend who came for him?" Carlisle said. "He's probably gone away for Christmas."

As I pondered the note some more, rustling came from the trees opposite. I couldn't see anyone in there and all family and guests were accounted for. Heavy footsteps came barrelling towards us as a slim blonde girl flew out of the undergrowth with a piece of wood in her hand.

She leapt towards the Frosty the Vampman the girls were building - little fangs included - and plunged the wood into the center of it. "Gotcha!" she shouted in victory as the homemade stake found its place.

No sooner had she landed on the mound, it collapsed all around her, entombing her in a pile of heavy snow. All that remained of the stranger was two feet poking out at the bottom and a blonde ponytail at the other end.

"Buffy!" Alice whined. "You ruined my snowman!" The partially buried feet twitched slightly before Alice kicked them and stormed off in a sulk.

I guessed she hadn't seen that one coming.

As we watched the others dig the newcomer out of her grave, Carlisle wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head and said, "Same time next year?"

**Author's Note:**

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> 
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